Muhasabah Diri Ini

So,
as u ol know the result was out yesterdy.my first impression on my result was like..'damn,how am i goin to tell my parent?'.i didn cry or upset even it was the worse grade i eva get.i was scared and afraid to tell my parent.i don wanna let them down.they were proud of me when im at skool but that was the past.now,im not a bright student as i used to.i was trembling as i told my mum bout my grade...and she said,'it's all in the past,just do better nex time'.my heart hurt so much.i let her down.and i dont blame no one but myself.

it will never be anyone's else fault.it was all totally 100% my fault.

i did studi but it wasn enough coz i didn focus.one hour of studying worth only 10 mins of 'real' studying.

n hell yeahh i slept a lot in class.hahaha.it's not like i sleep late at nyte.i did sleep early n get enough rest but it just me,myself not willing to fight the syaitans.

i need pressure to study,so that im more focused.but las sem,i was so lack of pressure in studying.i think it's because sumtyms i forgot my parent coz i ws so busy with other things.my parent were the reason i studied hard in school and also getting into UTP.i want to make them proud and happy.i never think of studying because i wanted it myself coz since school it was all for my parent.

this is where i get it wrong.

i shud do everything for MYSELF and my parent and also Allah.

i was also lack of ibadah,and now i get the impact of it from Allah Almighty.

what i have to;
i have to change my mindset of doing what i want not just for my parent or others.
i have to work hard on my ibadah.
i have to study smarter and sustain it.
i have not to do things las minute.
i have to manage my time well.

And here,

i thank GOD for making me realize everything and still giving me chance to improve myself.

so,let's fight the war coz it just begin!



p/s:it's never too late.